Don’t Scream At Your Teen
Your teen is angry and starts screaming at you, for many the natural reaction is to fight back and scream louder. Isnt it funny how often we are quick to raise our voices over another, thinking that we will win the argument!!
But as we know from experience, that is not what happens, yet we still fall into the same trap, over and over again. Its natural to fight back especially when someone pushes your buttons over and over and over again, and our teens just know how to do that.
Screaming at your teen simply prolongs the argument and encourages them to keep going. When we scream back at our teens, it simply challenges him or her and effectively “ups the ante.” To put it another way, it accelerates the argument. Not only that, but it keeps the fight going longer—the more you try to “win” and come out on top, the more your child fights back, so the louder you yell, and then he starts throwing things… When does it end?
Understand that when you scream at your teen , you and them are now on the same level and you are now engaging in the same behaviour and teaching your teen very little. More than that, you have given the perception to your teen that they are in control because they have just made you lose control by getting you angry…
Here are some tips from Bad Boy Turned Good
- Listen to Understand – just don’t listen to reply
- Consider walking away
- Challenge your teen’s thinking
- Lead by example
Let me quote James Lehman, Author at Empowering Parents, “You’ve got to model the behaviour you want to see from your child.” (Lehman, n.d.)
If you would like any help or advice in dealing with an angry teenager call our confidential helpline on 0818 333 250
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